Compartmentalising

It is almost a year since I have written, inspiration it seems deserted me, but I guess patience pays off sometimes and this is some thing that came to mind this week. Things I have realised over this last year... and finally I can actually put things into words.

The blog is called Compartmentalising, I do not know if this is the right word and certainly my spell check does not like it, but it works for me. This is how I live my life. This is how I believe I can be generally non-judgmental, this basically is how I cope. 

Whether experts would consider this healthy, I doubt it and I know friends would disagree too. Isn't it all about sharing your life with the world? Dumping it all on someone elses shoulders and generally "getting over it" and "moving on" Well not for me....

We all have life stories, life experiences, which shape who we are, we learn from them.

However experience has shown me, many despite everything do not move on. They simply find it too hard, even with sharing, even with expert intervention. So despite learning lessons, some have this innate bitterness towards those who hurt them, or towards people like them.

In a sense I am too like them, although trying hard not to tar everyone with the same brush, there are some who I would find it hard being friends with. However I do not harbour bitterness. Bitterness that I have seen tear people apart, making them appear shy or to the other extreme plain nasty. 

All of my unpleasant and nasty experiences in life are still there, never shared, still in the archives, but only to draw on the experiences. Each one has been filed separately, compartmentalised never to appear, unless I need to draw on the experiences.

Something I realise I am doing now, opening an archive, drawing on the experience and this is all good.

However back to the compartments, I full believe this has helped me to get through life, helping me through the bad experiences (which I am not going to detail... for obvious reasons). Each has been shut away, never to surface except in a positive way. Put at the back of my mind, enabling me to get through life in the best way that I can. 

I have no bitterness toward anyone, as this eats us up destroys our soul. I kinda like my soul, wanting to hang on to it just as it is for as long as possible... In essence this helps me forgive, I may not forgive everyone publicly, but I forgive in my heart. This allows me to shut the door on the compartment and then hope and pray that those who cause the pain can realise the pain they caused and maybe apologise... allowing me to forgive wholeheartedly and maybe even repair the relationships.

I have deep respect for anyone who can make this kind of admission, and therefore I believe each person deserves a second chance... learning that sometimes this can make things even better. Both parties becoming better people as a result. Allowing new and greater relationships to develop.

I realise this may be a tad controversial, I also know this is not one of my best written pieces... but I am trying to share how I get through... This is how I forgive, this is how I cope, this is how I do not become torn apart by bitterness and anger... This is me.

Yes I get mad, yes I get hurt, but it is not forever. Anger and bitterness are not healthy for any of us, and these emotions need to be addressed however we do it.

Pearl Jam.... The movie.

My Thoughts on Pearl Jam 20...... the movie, shown worldwide 20th September 2011

The film is made by Cameron Crowe, and he has known PJ since the beginning when they were playing as Mother Love Bone, before the Eddie Vedder times.

The whole way through there are touching moments as people they came into contact with are lost.

Their original singer Andy, Kurt Cobain...and later during a disaster that changed their focus competely. 

The whole film made an impression on me and my initial thoughts were... if people were watching who were not fans.. they surely would be at the end... The music was amazing and the insight into the story of the band was enlightening... it is easy to see how so many others have been inspired.

Yet PJ themselves admit they too had inspirations, Kurt Cobain was one, as was Neil Young who they credit with being the person who influenced them in such a way that they were really able to become who they wanted to be.

The thing that struck me the most was the passionthey have... passion for music, not really worrying about upsetting people in the business, passion for each other and passion for the fans... wanting to ensure the fans were fairly treated. Things like having a different set list for every show, and the famous time they took on the mighty Ticketmaster and their monopoly.

It surprised me that one of my favourite songs "Alive" was one of their first songs as it is so mature and feels like it should be written later in the career, other songs like "Jeremy" were explained, as was "Release" which has particular memories for Eddie of his father, and explains why he sings with such passion. In his early years his passion on stage is amazing... and his behaviour reminded me of a certain Mr Foster.... as he flung himself backwards into the crowd.... My plea to Alex is... please please dont climb as high as Eddie did... my nerves would not stand it!!!

The toughest time for the band was at Rosskilde 2000 in Copenhagen when 9 fans died in a crush. They realised then the fragility of life and this made them reevaluate their lives.

My final thought on Pearl Jam and how this documentary impacted on me was:

Forget Muse, Forget The Chili's, The Foos, and any other "supergroup". There is only one band in the world that everyone should see perform at least once in their lives, and thats Pearl Jam. I feel very priviledged to have had the opportunity to do that.

Its all about the People

 

Ever since I heard that Your Favorite Enemies were going to visit Japan after the terrible tragedies that occurred, I knew that I too wanted to go.

I have always wanted to visit Japan, but now there is a new urgency, the people I have learned to love are in need. So its not about visiting beautiful areas…seeing the sights… touring… its about the people. 

Those in the Tsunami affected area are of course in the greatest need, and this is why I strongly support the Hope Project initiated by YFE. I would give anything to be able to spend time with those who are suffering there… but its not what I want that’s important… its about the people.

 

The people most affected need us, they need donations of course, but more than that they need words of encouragement, words of support and the Hope Project  is one of the best ways of doing that without actually visiting the area. The people are strong… they are determined to stay in their homes… Encouragement and Hope is something that can help. 

The power of words is amazing, they have the power to build dreams, deliver hope, give strength and show love, but they can of course be extremely destructive too…
But for this reason it is important to me to actually see the people.. to give my love, and encouragement in person… because .. Its about the people

Having spent a fair amount of time with YFE I know that these things have the power to transcend language barriers, a hug can say so much, words may not even be necessary. It always though about the people. 

Next week then I get the opportunity to see these people …..
To give them the love, give them the hugs…break down the language barriers.. giving back the one thing they probably don’t realise they have given me…
unconditional love… 

Give them encouragement, dreams can be reached…. Hope is always there…
Hope will break through and allow them to rebuild…. Am I nervous about going?
Risk of further shocks and the wild media stories about radiation…?
No… even if the risks are there…
Because its not about me….
Its about the people….

Shattered Dreams

What happens when our dreams and hopes just don't work out?

Martin Luther King writes how there are many ways to face this.

Some he says will just withdraw from life becoming so sterile they are unable to experience the joys of love or even the bitterness associated with hate.

Some become so mean they blame everyone for their misfortune and become callous and cold,

Others become fatalists, so they believe that what's done is done, they sit back and wait for things to happen, completely relinquishing control over their life. They lose their freedom and ultimately will lost hope.

So where do we go? How can we go forward and maintain hope?

In 2009 I attended a benefit concert, one that has stayed with me for so long... one that impacted on me so much, I wrote about it in a blog...

You can read it here:

The power of hope

Never give up, take the shattered dream, accept its finality, accept responsibility, then accept it may not happen. No sitting there and waiting till it does. This is the time to create and work towards new dreams, giving new Hope...

Search for opportunities, then grab them when they appear. So many of us get opportunities then stop and think. Dont think! Sieze the chance that comes, dont let go, have faith in yourself!

Recently redundancy hit... I chose to take it... I took it when I wanted it... giving me the opportunity to have the whole summer to enjoy life... unlike my colleagues... who worked solidly throughout... then still lost their jobs in September! I made my choice... for me it was right... I took control.. and started to live my dream. 

Dont be a fatalist, nothing comes to those who wait!

Dont be bitter, this poisons the soul and makes for an inhuman and sterile life.

Dont withdraw, introversion leads to loneliness and giving up completely.

Take your dreams, make your choices, regain control and you will be powerful, you will have Hope!

You Can Make a Difference

December 10^th is International Human Rights day, and rather than trying to give details of all the bad things that are happening across the world I decided to take a more positive view and give ideas on how to make things better for those who are affected. 

Currently the band Your Favorite Enemies (YFE) from Canada, are working closely with Amnesty International to promote the cause but also to show how just a little can make a huge difference. This is my contribution to that effort. 

Making a difference does not have to be complicated..... 

Lesson Learnt but no time to stand back and celebrate

The other day I learnt a lesson. It was something I admit I had no idea about, but it was one I really needed to know. One that I am ashamed of the fact I lacked the knowledge.

But should I be so hard on myself?