Compartmentalising

It is almost a year since I have written, inspiration it seems deserted me, but I guess patience pays off sometimes and this is some thing that came to mind this week. Things I have realised over this last year... and finally I can actually put things into words.

The blog is called Compartmentalising, I do not know if this is the right word and certainly my spell check does not like it, but it works for me. This is how I live my life. This is how I believe I can be generally non-judgmental, this basically is how I cope. 

Whether experts would consider this healthy, I doubt it and I know friends would disagree too. Isn't it all about sharing your life with the world? Dumping it all on someone elses shoulders and generally "getting over it" and "moving on" Well not for me....

We all have life stories, life experiences, which shape who we are, we learn from them.

However experience has shown me, many despite everything do not move on. They simply find it too hard, even with sharing, even with expert intervention. So despite learning lessons, some have this innate bitterness towards those who hurt them, or towards people like them.

In a sense I am too like them, although trying hard not to tar everyone with the same brush, there are some who I would find it hard being friends with. However I do not harbour bitterness. Bitterness that I have seen tear people apart, making them appear shy or to the other extreme plain nasty. 

All of my unpleasant and nasty experiences in life are still there, never shared, still in the archives, but only to draw on the experiences. Each one has been filed separately, compartmentalised never to appear, unless I need to draw on the experiences.

Something I realise I am doing now, opening an archive, drawing on the experience and this is all good.

However back to the compartments, I full believe this has helped me to get through life, helping me through the bad experiences (which I am not going to detail... for obvious reasons). Each has been shut away, never to surface except in a positive way. Put at the back of my mind, enabling me to get through life in the best way that I can. 

I have no bitterness toward anyone, as this eats us up destroys our soul. I kinda like my soul, wanting to hang on to it just as it is for as long as possible... In essence this helps me forgive, I may not forgive everyone publicly, but I forgive in my heart. This allows me to shut the door on the compartment and then hope and pray that those who cause the pain can realise the pain they caused and maybe apologise... allowing me to forgive wholeheartedly and maybe even repair the relationships.

I have deep respect for anyone who can make this kind of admission, and therefore I believe each person deserves a second chance... learning that sometimes this can make things even better. Both parties becoming better people as a result. Allowing new and greater relationships to develop.

I realise this may be a tad controversial, I also know this is not one of my best written pieces... but I am trying to share how I get through... This is how I forgive, this is how I cope, this is how I do not become torn apart by bitterness and anger... This is me.

Yes I get mad, yes I get hurt, but it is not forever. Anger and bitterness are not healthy for any of us, and these emotions need to be addressed however we do it.